鲜花( 1394) 鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 2 A. M6 B) F3 g
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7 o% _. z' r J5 {8 OTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.& _+ Y1 V* H$ s! b. H9 S' j ^9 q: A8 E
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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# ?& H$ W" v. f+ M* N2 M5 CIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
" U! H2 V6 t. O! h7 `* Gmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. _' r" f8 z. x* a0 s
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6 h; F5 y6 q5 s) H4 r- N
$ Z) Q) b2 ^" x3 fWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.. q# [' a7 }2 B/ [
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ( C8 B9 R; E" C( \9 ^' @( b& S7 I! C
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( Q& Q8 I0 e9 e5 r- l; G) A
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.2 j0 x) M- S' o9 c0 P
9 x( [* B- ^2 {, Z$ Z- [; @8 oTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.# i- c2 R; A8 l: P4 K4 |1 ?2 I2 A
' F3 m' }* x; D. g- @1 WSpray mold spots with Tilex. : j% \+ x! i) r/ S4 d% ^8 Z
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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% f1 f1 J+ }0 m8 UWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 6 {# V( }4 b2 \$ Q
# i- E! b3 _4 E h$ l" pReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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: _* p) \+ a# ?/ ^2 GIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. + z f4 w, ]3 u8 l
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 0 p3 }8 Q6 c3 R+ L4 t6 A% i9 d2 d6 y
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Walk naked to the bathroom.$ W( J* ^4 [! R* g- _( F7 M' z
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. % I" X. {4 ?% f6 {' K( Q
H4 U, g: p, g/ t: VLook at your manly physique in the mirror. * W" B/ J! S$ F9 o& g
9 u0 z$ ? w2 x$ j( l8 nAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. # T* u# ]9 h" i; s$ M+ L) D
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. / V( f0 P, `9 ^) V6 g
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 3 v% J% g& o. x/ g+ j( t5 k, k
) J$ i+ Q( H6 m, L) }Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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! _/ A4 ?/ ]' `- _! y$ Z8 J7 ~' R& {Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 4 ^/ w# \! j$ P5 S. V
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Partially dry off.( |' n4 o7 p- |+ H- D" a: m4 j
& B1 ]4 e2 B6 N8 TFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. % G) R$ I; `/ p1 u3 F
" d; x" y- ]4 C8 O% j4 O- YAdmire wiener size in mirror again. $ U: ~# p- e6 B& M) n
# H* L1 g8 M6 R$ A% Q, mLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 1 v/ V- H& K6 y( m
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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