请各位高手给我的英文摘要挑错，谢谢

popiston

请各位给我挑下错误，我已经答辩通过，但是不想档案里留下太多错误。谢谢了。
Research on Production Process Management System Oriented to Hybrid Manufacturing Enterprises

- k; J; h! R% Y0 E0 V$ ]Abstract
The Hybrid Manufacturing Enterprise (HME) incorporates both continuous processes and discrete processes in an integrated way, with more complex constraints among the production periods. The conflict, between the complexity of production management and the deficient management innovation, becomes increasingly fierce along with the development of contemporary market that is chracterized by diverse demands, etc. The Production Process Management System Oriented to HME (PPMS-HME) was researched, according to the analysis of special characteristics and typical problems in the production processes in HME.
4 X1 V9 P: L4 {, JA comprehensive functional framework for the PPMS-HME was proposed, including a series of functional modules which were responsibile for planning, organizing or control in each department and the whole process. An agile Matrix System Architecture was designed, to reduce the coupling among layers. The system complexity was decreased and the average risks were radically lower in developing and implementing the PPMS-HME.
/ I6 [& J4 B2 [5 S& G. VA HME-oriented hierarchy push-pull production planning and control model was proposed. A Simplified Simulated Annealing Algorithm (SSA), based on heuristic rules such as production progress, and a Dynamic Scheduling Algorithm (DSA) were designed for efficient optimization of planning and scheduling respectively. The planning model adopted SSA to achieve optimized feasible master plans, MRP, etc., pulled by integrative production demands, with constrains of limited capacities and special rules at workshops, preplanning for both continue and discrete processes according to the craft networks. The actucl production processes were designed to be pushed by such approaches as process circulation card, etc. To advance efficiencies in neighbor workshops with the same type of capacities and special conditions, a shared capacities balancing model was proposed, symbolized as connected vessels in hydromechanics, and the scheduling rules and DSA were developed.
The general, constructed and dynamic material transition mapping models were presented respectively, aiming at the diversity, e.g. material substitution, lot merging/splitting, in the HME. The simulated Hook technology in software engineering was employed for speedy compound mapping calculation, improving the information-integrating abilities of material tracking and tracing in complex materials transition processes in the HME.
Based on the integrated extensive process information, an activity data mart, oriented to Activity-Based Management (ABM), was established using data processing approach such as defined activity transformation, and the tri-dimensional activity analysis model was furtherly developed. Depending upon the different activity management demands, different activity categories can be chosen and the rational cost drivers can be measured to select the corresponding costing view. Therefore, costing information collection and cost accumulation can be realized as instant automated procedures, providing foundation data and technical supporting to implement advanced modern management approaches such as acitivity based management.
A case study was conducted at an actual business, explaining the implement, application and effectiveness of PPMS-HME. This research helps the HME to adopt information technologies for management innovation, and is of theoretical and practical significance to the informationization in China.
  n( s' G- E. U: z: z. }
Key Words：Production Process Management; Hybrid Manufacturing Enterprise; Production Planning; Material Tracking; Data Mart

Justing

根据个人意见试改几处如下：
" b7 _; L0 K; X1 Y- c1. The conflict, between complex production management and deficient management innovation
2. along with the development of contemporary market which is mainly chracterized by diverse demands.
3. The Production Process Management System Oriented to HME (PPMS-HME) was researched based on the analysis of
; W6 b0 L: `& Z4. In order to reduce the coupling among layers, an agile Matrix System Architecture was designed.
5. the average risks were radically lowered
6. An HME-oriented hierarchy push-pull model for production planning and control was proposed.
未完待续。

popiston

谢谢二楼。贴到几个论坛。你是第一个给具体意见的。谢谢！！

Crisis

没有什么大的问题。不过，好多句子，在表达上还可以有斟酌的余地。这两天特忙，不知楼主能等到什么时候？等咱有空的时候给你看看。科技文章咱还是有点谱的，不是炫耀的说，咱也还发过点好的paper，呵呵

Justing

7. preplanning for both continuous and discrete processes
8. actucl -> actual
3 ?; A8 ^. j3 K9. 第2段 HME --> the HME

popiston

没有什么大的问题。不过，好多句子，在表达上还可以有斟酌的余地。这两天特忙，不知楼主能等到什么时候？等咱有空的时候给你看看。科技文章咱还是有点谱的，不是炫耀的说，咱也还发过点好的paper，呵呵
Crisis 发表于 2010-5-28 22:24

1 ]% k3 q- w0 Y4 G9 _. J谢谢！我周一就打印，1-3号是报退日期。
# F1 ~8 d% r, K5 g! E现在问题不大了，我找外教给改了，她给我找了几个错误，包括楼上的actual 拼写。可惜她不太懂，只硬找语法，她一直认为data是单数。
' h0 ?/ F/ ^3 u0 h) m4 Q+ R她找的：
+ d1 x. a7 @6 z  [4 Bamong (during?)
a contemporary market that is characterized （a 和最后词拼写）
  ^: F4 ]: S( U4 Q7 @- lfurtherly -> further
! g- q, L/ u& T+ U. _supporting (support)等
1 o3 p! \! T. V$ o9 Z( B3 Y最让我苦恼的是
信息化 informationization (there is no such word )
google上的结果的确几乎都是中国人用这个词。

Crisis

Abstract

Hybrid Manufacturing Enterprise (HME) incorporates both continuous and discrete processes in an integrated way, with complex constraints in multiple production periods. The conflict between the production management complexity and the deficient management innovation is increasingly fierce in the development of contemporary market characterized by diverse demands. In this paper, the Production Process Management System Oriented to HME (PPMS-HME) is explored based on the analysis on special characteristics and typical problems in the production processes in HME.
) ?6 G( Q" B8 }9 p
! Z) V. n& C; L" L6 YA comprehensive functional framework for PPMS-HME is proposed, including a series of functional modules responsible for planning, organizing, or controlling in each department and in the whole process. An agile Matrix System Architecture is designed to reduce the coupling among layers. Consequently the system complexity is decreased and the average risks are radically lowered in developing and implementing the PPMS-HME.

Crisis

帮你先改了一下前两段。感觉越往后，越难懂，加之这周末我实在是太忙，真的是无法帮你改了。这段也是挤出来的时间呢。

% O' o# ~2 x/ }感觉上，你这段文章，主要的问题是逻辑衔接不够，语法上有些小问题，介词和副词的使用不是特别准确，还有就是长句子把握不太好。作为一般开会的文章，可能还凑合。但如果要作为最终稿的论文，我觉得楼主还需要花点功夫在上面。如果你能稍等，或许过几天我能有点时间给你把下面的完成了。

对不起哈。只改了半截。

Crisis

还有，因不太清楚你的论文内容，逻辑上实在不知道如何联结更好，实际上我给你修改的这两段，由于联结上的问题，读起来仍然感觉比较生硬。

popiston

Justing  老科，多谢你们了！
3 @1 Y. w4 _) {  v8 y4 r我一会就定稿去打印了。
我是国内的汉语论文。这部分差不多就行。