Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! W7 Y. N; @! X" F) D& d1 u  ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

# v6 A4 F$ q/ \) spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 |& Z) V: p; {4 ECandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 r1 u: h" e. w0 a! I' FSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ e4 ]' u: A! g0 L: HTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
4 ?, r. i8 U* Y: f' ~# j  A1 SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- K" N. l( q5 sAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 s$ g/ O  h$ cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 U! C! w1 X* ^' I% V& o- `Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 v1 n$ m+ V$ F5 j$ w0 Vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
4 W) E: K0 p' F2 @: n' @Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% }, r  G4 J7 h$ z; Z4 G1 tMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ f) L: e& M; k8 W- IMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ G' ^# s2 K, f8 i/ c$ A. M1 H# W) KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ c( x- m+ K- T, ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
9 w) h% o9 g: i9 T4 jthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 y( ^+ G+ o2 o* l- I/ H6 T' v# Cjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 R; e7 Z8 O1 q/ ^$ @. `! HPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 H4 O' \2 i! H! p$ HNone.
: k+ e5 ]+ c1 |! i$ OYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 u# E( r( R- y& x) swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; v/ N  f; ?+ S6 N+ kcan ultimately surpass you.
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8 |+ Q3 c* p/ {, u& }PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
% l% ]# O$ m% ?$ @, {$ ?On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) `! q3 p* j  k; dGet this! You pay them!
9 e( r/ m: j: _6 [- |Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 T5 S& \0 e. E' b$ ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
7 s' q3 n9 P7 ZWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

7 N2 o4 w3 I0 j& I3 qBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: {5 Z3 [$ q5 j  T1 |( @no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ s5 g: `& ~6 S: \0 v! b! S$ Ono stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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6 A+ ^7 N8 _( j, D7 h/ Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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. m, K7 p8 A! c8 R! S' Lfor life if you play your cards right.




: V' ^4 j5 Z1 I9 A. x" J" t** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 h1 I' r! S2 U0 ]. qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% ?$ N8 Q+ e5 Q  ?6 Ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.