鲜花( 19) 鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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- }) I% ]/ U+ A9 f" y2 v( TI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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8 E" u4 J; `8 [1 T7 E4 JI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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% q' k' ^8 h. Q1 ^9 _: ~' G6 L"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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' y7 _- {9 I0 Z( h, f7 y. pI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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. D2 V3 @& v& x' Q3 @* u! |# `1 AAnd the second one was:2 T+ p# H, ?. U" {% t
% w4 L, r0 k; B; r$ _"What's the 2nd Amendment?". o' D6 K+ }& H" e' m) H! }
/ e. t) T! o% `I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( ^) s9 v+ u' N% O
/ q+ K9 |" u5 O p5 N"What is Roe vs. Wade?") N' J u$ j0 B4 `8 M$ P
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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% K; M2 A$ [ S" E7 }So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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; Y- d! f |7 P6 rNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”, T, x3 l$ t" Y* A. |5 c2 u
9 i( K. H7 f1 m" e$ cThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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7 c: Y, q0 l I! Z2 XThank you very much!7 O' A8 h8 ?9 s M# A& d
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/ Q* G" X# P' I+ [' _Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:: |0 A8 g( f5 i: @2 B/ y
% f8 E4 o% o/ _1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.# t, s3 l/ _0 c7 Z& J& i. t
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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$ l7 D; O X# ~/ l* o% DJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".+ f6 U0 R5 H8 p1 j" X
9 t; x: t. K) q) U8 s+ A, wRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.9 A# x; E3 {4 u' T9 }: O
5 k( ]5 W0 [) W4 x' J7 dThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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