鲜花( 1394) 鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
: d+ \( Z3 Y- W% B7 A/ Q3 r/ S" v: G* O/ Q9 U
; ^+ D4 _; k7 ?7 D, D--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
" e( x. C1 n' S3 i, y7 ]& a; ~& U" f& K8 n4 e* S
, l) b7 t" ^) M! H8 L ! X/ O9 R/ W/ [, ]1 e
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.# P) g( M. W4 U) I+ j
- T$ l1 L& @. r3 \) F
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. % N* v8 e0 |7 \% w7 D4 m
0 u4 [- G, f6 FIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
# G6 e, i) P' H, j* y
7 X( ^& m7 @1 E* V3 k! ULook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # ?8 U* s5 R' Y8 l4 D
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
4 o. M1 N% h) @7 w
; Y& |% o0 K9 e+ ^. m4 K$ c1 hGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
. v; @) _" F' F7 B+ Z! E
/ T) `, G0 ^5 uWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. - q1 |) k% M0 p& a6 F) H
. i* A7 A: Z% |& T: l s/ yWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.9 l4 j; `. l7 K9 N5 H3 ]7 j! K L1 ]
( D" `# G8 f( Z
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..3 z1 r# p2 Q" w0 i8 _. t; E) W
' T* ?7 F5 `+ `. y* h7 [- LWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
+ z9 E3 x4 B- D3 q
3 K7 u+ h) H" a! o: a) UWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 6 T1 g) | x9 \8 T- h3 x5 f% E
. J: j' x" q! _4 M2 R
Rinse conditioner off hair.* c" M% |0 x% o* i
: r$ h+ P5 P$ ?8 tShave armpits and legs.
7 `2 x/ R; g6 x( f$ Z" w# i) z, M% m6 _$ T6 X; f) q9 u
Turn off shower.3 h6 T z2 R. }( ?
7 v. H( U( ]$ W) {! K4 e# v! ^
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
$ o' w& r- \3 K0 [$ q/ m7 G' s E* s1 |2 I- _9 _, i3 k
Spray mold spots with Tilex. S1 w* s* Z2 @6 N' y' B
7 C0 w/ E/ x6 c) C8 ]$ B1 M( R
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. # L9 p+ g" R) [) c- G1 ]
5 }1 I3 n# U) M. D! A5 e* \6 HWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
( r- S5 O" h, G
$ s* S7 _4 F5 UReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
% Y b8 l9 E) p ?9 S7 p. k! O9 F r4 u& r8 l6 H
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ) V5 g( M1 q/ N' T. k6 P; u$ h8 G9 l
5 n* S& i6 z7 l7 ~' ]
. x# f; u/ n; {8 p
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
: z& N/ E7 j2 B/ f- n. u
! L- B/ X, @0 D: q1 [; E! {: {9 T$ tTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
8 L! b2 g, l: F( z$ \
5 c9 P7 p. n6 L8 O JWalk naked to the bathroom.
5 c6 N4 Q* a' t1 Q
0 i) I6 K! Z8 F( S" bIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 0 \, N/ M3 L' m( O
0 A7 J v0 K# e" D7 j( h" x
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
' V/ a2 V+ v9 d+ `2 l* S9 C3 I* Z
s" u- ^" R% d$ i+ a. n# r7 `7 cAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
! O: W6 S, x1 V, N) d1 P9 Q4 O
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. + I3 A2 M8 C: ^) T( h! d' d2 ~
+ P8 Q; U2 u% V, W# B5 Z* j7 u
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
, z' `4 x4 g% r
- X# ?& b- c) v. PFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. & X: Q0 S `9 k) P
; T! h( o( P+ [6 YSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
5 y" _& y3 |! w) ]- Q# d D7 q4 _8 O3 \8 C" j
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 5 k: | ~) O/ g/ n
. s8 j) }7 {# ?, o/ ^
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
* q& i) H0 t3 e4 @3 g& D5 \: z6 T+ ^9 ?0 @. ^5 I" H* W) l/ k$ P
Pee.
F% L: m8 \3 Y1 j+ g2 r
% }/ e( B" b2 m% E6 fRinse off and get out of shower. `' W. Z% Z! ^2 o9 r& i& k# f3 R" j6 ^
K6 m3 G" _( ?; j+ i/ B
Partially dry off.
( K3 m$ E6 U. T |7 i7 r+ d: \( X: L' \+ r& Q
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
j6 C" [. k' O# H* C6 R
' B$ ]- r+ }" M) v6 qAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
g% b3 B1 _9 R* w6 {6 W( s8 ]$ K3 f/ e4 C4 X! f& z: @* P9 W
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. & V& k& c3 D' S. o* P$ U
( H/ b0 q( D7 a! @) x' A
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 s( o6 H5 Z. e# ]6 [
/ Q: ^/ a% u" J4 V( F7 oThrow wet towel on bed. & h3 b. w7 p/ D' I: l
" Y6 Z( x T/ ?: m* ]; pIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|