鲜花( 1394) 鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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: `* Y0 Y9 G, K S0 {0 iTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.% Q! a) A" u4 a5 \
8 f: P/ u+ k8 j) y7 lWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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1 Q2 |+ j$ i% d1 [8 @ rIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.) i# B8 h& M, v# N! ?; Y, L
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
. m* ^1 X5 B6 [; `, l+ Umake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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% m/ a* c$ L0 t& iGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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$ L& R2 a+ H3 F3 z% ~; a# L+ PWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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7 v; O$ H0 `3 G, x5 C) kWash your hair again to make sure it's clean." g7 J- H0 T- i! H
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 1 X# W/ N. a ^* o
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ; A2 w5 r9 {1 _. U8 ^ R
) b$ Y: @$ L" j2 y7 h; Q7 jRinse conditioner off hair.
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$ U* |6 s* k( c! j+ hShave armpits and legs.) M$ T7 u5 c! u: }) |6 ?
: a/ ]- Y/ g/ O, N3 ~& M* j& KTurn off shower.
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- | j! i D8 W) l, f4 ySqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.5 P2 a! X7 h1 a$ ^) I9 R- B
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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9 H* E* Z% S- K$ pGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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9 f$ _$ A% A" g# w3 N$ k" I% R1 LWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 9 b; u! x5 a& W; O! p
/ s9 R" j% w$ b7 E' @6 H7 w# d1 VReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. % o( Q& R6 v& a! s. d8 D
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 4 W4 s; I5 O% Z; B+ D( J3 k2 h
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 0 r# u% C5 K/ H6 `8 G* j \) k8 a
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Walk naked to the bathroom., z1 V; b! |8 ]4 {4 Z9 l
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 3 d; M C8 f8 w
6 z* z7 V7 W, ]0 ELook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. " v+ F8 ?* Q0 N2 X* I
W% O; ?/ A3 Q" h. {1 a5 I( SGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 2 s4 e z8 t' g1 M
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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- l/ X o. h* ^/ E6 d. l6 mSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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6 X* A3 }0 B) F8 G- bWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. + G4 h5 Q; i0 s" M4 i D! C8 D
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ( I! C/ i5 u B$ H+ a% s
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Pee.
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* E; d/ S6 Y% Z8 z; e5 x, H" WRinse off and get out of shower. + y3 P) \+ X+ g$ h! a
& w+ l0 G3 X+ n/ n2 vPartially dry off.
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1 ^) q/ t& K2 O( Q9 m$ a( nFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 f+ {( C, d& u: A& W; a" s
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. - M" d2 X% U2 d
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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