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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.9 b6 W7 @8 m1 T( G4 k" b
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.% {; n" x1 v$ u: k2 W4 t
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?  m- P( ~8 A8 B& }
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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/ X* }$ s9 G  I# J& E/ Q7 W: P% C& p, RI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?! h* Q9 [) n' l
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"4 j4 z( c# W" ~/ }

, T4 O* e+ v( X3 n8 oI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."7 j5 R) n  t1 D$ w8 b6 Z
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"1 B* ^' T3 T1 p( C* Z1 X! \

2 l; t" o7 N: d0 x, @Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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( h  L, z8 V2 ~This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.6 X% X# }( h; W
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Thank you very much!# R/ F+ i/ `- e1 L2 j
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:! [7 N/ F8 q0 ~4 y% f4 @
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.: @. v0 N5 v8 N/ g7 S# h
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion./ C9 J) ^- `$ `7 S1 ]
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".% t* k) b  R2 H" G
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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+ T8 C& k( S, s) j$ Z6 m9 x5 CThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means: 1 V9 D* }' f9 r
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
老柳教车
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
# D% v7 k8 a5 l7 G; G怎么理解?5 m# a( Q4 U+ u+ ~% z& X- c5 \( R
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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6 y3 Z, R3 e' e9 q( t不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
& D0 N5 `" u) s怎么理解?
6 ?* I9 a: V" G" `8 Z50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
$ A; ~9 s2 W0 t% J  l  Jcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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, k: F% K; E; [% c( j我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
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, f2 ?' q8 ^1 }7 \我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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